Gaslighting at work: How HR can recognize and address it

When employees repeatedly hear that something “didn’t happen,” that they’re “overreacting,” or that a problem is somehow their fault, trust can quickly break down. When this becomes a pattern, it may be a sign of gaslighting at work.

The challenge for HR is that these behaviors are not always easy to identify. Nearly 3 in 5 workers (59%) say that their employer believes that the workplace is mentally healthier than it actually is, according to the American Psychological Association.

Gaslighting at work is not simply a disagreement or a manager communicating poorly once. It is a pattern that needs to be recognized and addressed. By knowing what to look for and how to investigate complaints, HR leaders can respond to problematic behavior while helping managers build a more trustworthy workplace.

Gaslighting in the workplace is a pattern of behavior that causes someone to question their own memory or understanding of what happened. It can involve denying conversations that took place, changing the story about an event, or dismissing someone’s concerns as if they are imagining the problem.

For example, a manager might give an employee a specific instruction and later insist they never said it. Or, after an employee raises a concern, the manager might repeatedly tell them that they are “too sensitive” instead of addressing the issue.

Not every disagreement or communication mistake is gaslighting. HR should look for a repeated pattern, particularly when someone consistently denies facts, shifts blame, or undermines another person’s understanding of events.

The focus should be on the behavior rather than trying to determine whether someone is intentionally “gaslighting” another person. Look at what was said or done, what documentation exists, and whether the behavior violates workplace policies or expectations.

Because gaslighting can be difficult to spot, HR should pay attention to changes in employee behavior, team dynamics, and recurring concerns. 

Warning signs of gaslighting at work may include:

• Employees hesitate to speak up: People become noticeably reluctant to question decisions, share feedback, or raise concerns.
• One manager generates repeated complaints: HR receives concerns about the same leader from multiple employees, even when the specific situations differ.
• Employees feel the need to record everything: Team members frequently save messages, emails, or meeting notes because they do not trust verbal conversations to be accurately represented later.
• Performance concerns seem inconsistent: An employee’s performance is criticized for issues that were previously accepted or for expectations that were never clearly communicated.
• Conversations leave employees confused: Employees struggle to explain what happened during interactions with a particular manager or leave meetings unsure about what is expected of them.
• Team trust is declining: Employees become less willing to collaborate or approach their manager.
• Turnover is concentrated around one leader: Multiple employees leave the same team or report similar concerns about their manager before departing.

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The effects of gaslighting can extend beyond the people directly involved and influence how an entire team functions. When employees see that a manager can repeatedly dismiss concerns or avoid accountability without consequences, it can change what they expect from leadership.

That loss of trust can show up in several ways:

• Employees leave: People who no longer trust their manager or feel supported by their organization may start looking for another job. If several employees leave the same team, the organization also loses institutional knowledge and must spend more time recruiting and onboarding replacements.
• Employees stop speaking up: When people believe that their concerns will be dismissed or turned against them, they are less likely to raise problems or challenge poor decisions. Leaders can then lose access to information they need to manage the business effectively.
• Leadership credibility suffers: Employees notice how organizations respond when managers behave poorly. If complaints are ignored or dismissed, employees may conclude that leadership will not hold managers accountable.
• Productivity can decline: Employees who spend time navigating conflict, documenting interactions, or second-guessing management decisions have less capacity to focus on their work and collaborate effectively.
• The organization can lose money: Lost productivity, disengagement, turnover, recruiting, and onboarding all carry costs. A management problem that goes unaddressed can therefore become a broader financial problem.

Gaslighting is not, by itself, a standalone violation of federal employment law. However, the behavior can become illegal when it is part of workplace harassment, discrimination, or retaliation prohibited by federal law.

Several federal laws may apply depending on the circumstances:

• Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits workplace discrimination and harassment based on race, color, religion, sex, and national origin.
• The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination and harassment based on disability.
• The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) protects employees age 40 and older from discrimination and harassment based on age.
• The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act (GINA) prohibits discrimination and harassment based on genetic information.

The connection between gaslighting and employment law depends on why the behavior is happening and what consequences follow.

For example, suppose a manager repeatedly dismisses an employee’s concerns because of their disability, denies conversations about a requested accommodation, and then gives the employee a negative performance review after they raise the issue. The conduct could potentially raise concerns under the ADA.

Similarly, if a manager attempts to discredit an employee after they report racial or sexual harassment, that behavior could potentially constitute unlawful retaliation. Federal EEO laws protect employees from retaliation for reporting discrimination or participating in an employment discrimination investigation.

For harassment to violate federal law, the conduct generally must be sufficiently severe or pervasive to create a hostile work environment, or result in a tangible employment action such as termination, demotion, or loss of wages. Not every unpleasant interaction of manipulative behavior meets this threshold.

HR should also consider employer liability. The EEOC states that an employer is automatically liable when supervisor harassment results in a negative employment action. When supervisor harassment creates a hostile work environment without a tangible employment action, an employer may have a defense if it can demonstrate that it took reasonable steps to prevent and promptly correct the behavior.

HR should treat a gaslighting complaint like any other workplace conduct complaint. Document the concern, gather evidence, interview the relevant people, determine whether policies or employment laws may have been violated, and take appropriate corrective action.

Record the employee’s concerns in specific, factual terms. Ask them to identify:

• The dates and locations of the incidents
• Who was involved or present
• What was said or done
• What happened immediately before and after the interaction
• Whether the behavior has happened more than once
• Whether they have emails, messages, meeting notes, performance records, or other documentation
• Whether they have raised the concern previously and, if so, with whom

Identify and preserve records that could help establish what happened. Depending on the complaint, this could include emails, Slack or Teams messages, meeting notes, performance reviews, calendar invitations, written instructions, HR records, and previous complaints involving the same manager.

Interview the complaining employee, the person accused of the behavior, and relevant witnesses individually. Ask each person to describe specific incidents rather than asking whether they think someone was “gaslighting” another employee. Keep the questions neutral and give each person an opportunity to provide evidence or identify witnesses.

Useful questions include:

• “Walk me through what happened during that meeting.”
• “What instructions were given?”
• “What happened after the employee raised the concern?”
• “Who else was present?”
• “Was anything documented afterward?”
• “Has a similar situation happened before?”

Compare the complaint with other available information. Has the same manager received similar complaints? Are multiple employees reporting confusion about expectations or inconsistent accounts of conversations? Does the documentation support one account more than another? A pattern involving multiple employees can be particularly important because it may point to a management or culture problem rather than an isolated conflict.

Determine whether the behavior violates the organization’s code of conduct, anti-harassment policy, manager expectations, or other workplace policies. Also consider whether the reported conduct could involve classes protected by employment law. If the complaint raises a potential legal claim, involve employment counsel as appropriate rather than attempting to make a legal determination based solely on the label “gaslighting.”

If HR substantiates inappropriate conduct, address the specific behavior. The response should match the seriousness and frequency of the conduct and be consistent with how similar cases have been handled. 

Depending on the circumstances and company policy, the response could include:

• Coaching or additional management training
• A documented performance or conduct warning
• Removing inappropriate or inaccurate documentation from an employee’s record
• Correcting an unfair performance assessment or decision
• Increased oversight of the manager
• Disciplinary action, including termination when warranted

Do not consider the matter closed simply because the investigation is complete. Schedule follow-ups with the affected employee and monitor the team for continued concerns or retaliation. HR should also check whether the corrective action actually changed the behavior. If complaints continue, escalate the response rather than repeatedly treating each incident as an isolated issue.

A gaslighting complaint can reveal a larger problem with how a manager communicates. If the investigation identifies those patterns, address them directly through manager expectations, coaching, training, or performance management. The goal is not only to resolve one complaint, but to prevent the same behavior from affecting other employees.

Managers play a key role in preventing the behaviors that can lead employees to question their judgment, feel dismissed, or lose trust in their leaders. Clear expectations and consistent communication can reduce confusion and make it easier to address problems before they become patterns.

Give employees specific instructions about priorities, deadlines, responsibilities, and performance standards. When expectations change, communicate the change directly and explain why. After important conversations, follow up in writing so that everyone has the same understanding of what was agreed upon.

Managers will not remember every conversation perfectly, and mistakes happen. What matters is how leaders respond when they get something wrong. If you gave unclear direction, forgot a previous conversation, or made an incorrect decision, acknowledge it and correct the record. Avoid rewriting what happened to protect yourself from accountability.

Keep performance feedback specific and tied to measurable expectations. Instead of telling an employee that they have a “bad attitude,” explain the behavior that created a concern, when it occurred, and what needs to change. This gives employees something concrete they can act on and reduces the risk of subjective or inconsistent feedback.

Managers should be able to hear concerns without immediately becoming defensive. Encourage employees to ask questions, challenge decisions respectfully, and provide another perspective. A manager does not have to agree with every concern, but they should be able to explain their reasoning and take the concern seriously.

Do not allow misunderstandings to linger or rely on employees to figure out what went wrong on their own. When there is a disagreement, bring the relevant people together, establish what happened, clarify expectations, and agree on next steps.

Gaslighting at work can be difficult to identify, but HR does not need to determine someone’s intent or apply a psychological label in order to take action.

Here are the key takeaways:

• A single disagreement or miscommunication is not necessarily gaslighting; recurring behavior deserves closer attention.
• Document what was said and done, review available evidence, and avoid relying solely on conflicting accounts.
• Investigate concerns promptly and impartially, even when the reported behavior does not initially appear to violate a law or company policy.
• Gaslighting is not a standalone federal employment law violation, but the underlying conduct may involve harassment, discrimination, or retaliation.
• Unhealthy management behavior can damage trust in leadership, contribute to employee turnover, reduce productivity, and increase organizational costs.
• Coaching, training, performance management, and disciplinary action can all be appropriate depending on the severity and frequency of the behavior.
• Clear expectations, evidence-based feedback, accountability, and open communication can help managers build teams where employees feel comfortable speaking up.

Preventing harmful management behaviors starts with giving leaders the skills to handle conflict and build trust with their teams. Careerminds’ leadership coaching helps organizations develop stronger managers and leaders through personalized coaching focused on the challenges they face in the workplace. Click below to learn more and speak with our experts.